WHEW!!! Let me tell you, kids, life isn't easy. You think getting up every morning and facing the fact that I am the most overlooked rock vocalist of the past 200 years is cake? The answer is No. NO. Steve perry has 3 rules for life, and they are as follows:
1. Follow Your Dreams
2. Never Cease To Believe, in the present progressive tense.
3. Don't Take And Shit From Neal Schon.
You think when I heard that youtube news I celebrated? No. I went on with my normal frikkin day of counting my money and singing the stories of middle America. It was a tuesday morning. I was woken up by the novelty ring tone on my iphone (Kelly Clarkson!!), a gift from (real) Steve Jobs. I answered, on the other line was my manager, Gary "Playboy" Finkelstein, a trouper who has been with me since the Oh Sherrie days.
"Perry, Its Fink. Listen, Schon is at it again, he scoured youtube and found some kid in Singapore to replace you, what do you want me to do?"
Well. With this, I got up from the giant pile of money which I sleep on, but on my blue tooth headset, and went out onto my balcony which overlooks the Grand Canyon, great Wall of China, and Pyramids of Egypt all at once.
"Do You Know Who I Am? I'm Steve FRIKKIN Perry! I Invented The Power Ballad! Maybe You've Heard Of It? I Passed on the youtube offer like 3 times! Google just wanted to give it to me because Open Arms is the song that got Sergey and Larry laid back in high school. SCHON Is Worthless! He's NOTHING without me!"
And with that, I belched. Had a tape recorder been running at the time, that belch would have sold more copies than all of the Post Perry Journey records combined. Was I Worried? Of course not.
